


First and Last and Always

by Kylenne



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Slash, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:24:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kylenne/pseuds/Kylenne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following Shepard's destruction of the Alpha Relay, Garrus and Thane find themselves on Illium parted from the woman they both love as she sets course for Earth to face the music before an Alliance tribunal. And in a time of great uncertainty and doubt, they find themselves searching for answers that are only found in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First and Last and Always

A heavy silence hung in the air between them as they walked across the spaceport. It was thick and oppressive, weighing down upon each of them. The two exchanged short, uneasy glances as the frigate made her silent departure behind them. Neither turned to look back. Neither watched as she flew away, her orange and black seeming more a cursed brand now than anything proud; a fugitive vessel bearing a fugitive woman, gliding across a midnight sky through the glittering lights of the Nos Astra skyline before blue shifting. Neither turned to look back, for doing so would force understanding of the full measure of that departure: a clandestine drop-off and a flight into an abyss of uncertainty.

_Sunset-colored eyes lock upon him, rimmed not by delicate green scales but smooth, deep mahogany as rich and lush as the sands of Rakhana. Brown fingertips trace the frills along his neck, slender and elegant. Full, soft lips tinted black part against his own in a single deep kiss filled with yearning and conviction, her strength and her passion._  

_"Don't worry about me, Thane. I'll make them understand why I had to do it, and I'll get right back in this fight. I didn't come this far to give up now. And you and I...we'll meet again. Count on it."_

Thane lightly pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep breath, and with mind and body willed the memory to cease. He did not wish to dwell on such memories, not then. 

"You're doing that thing again, Krios," Garrus said, shifting the duffel over his shoulder.  

Thane blinked at him in curiosity. "Which thing?" 

"That 'memories eating at your head' thing," the turian replied. "I can tell. And you'll only drive yourself crazy doing that."

"…Sometimes it's difficult to stop," Thane admitted.

Garrus turned to stare at him pointedly, his head cocked to the side in that signature tilt. "I won't lie and say I'm not worried too. But Shepard can handle herself. I've seen her get out of a thousand jams, and she's got Admiral Hackett and Councilor Anderson in her corner. She'll be fine. And worrying won’t help her anyway."

A faint smile crossed Thane's lips, and he nodded. Garrus never doubted Shepard for a moment; Thane believed him quite incapable of doing so, and it occurred to Thane that he himself was beginning to feel the same. He continued walking in silence with the turian, toward the bank of automated ticket kiosks, when a chime sounded to indicate an announcement on the public address system. 

" _Due to increased security along the relay network in the wake of the Aratoht tragedy, all interplanetary arrivals and departures are experiencing increased delays. We strongly advise that all passengers confirm scheduling with their carriers, or with our real-time update system. Keyword: travel advisories. Thank you for your patience, and thank you for flying Nos Astra._ "

"Damn, looks like the 1:15 to Kahje's been pushed back until morning," Garrus said, and pointed up at the nearby departures board.

Thane, too, glanced up and scanned the board. "As is the 1:45 to Palaven."

"So much for getting out of here any time soon," Garrus chuckled. He leaned against a nearby pillar. "Maybe we ought to get comfortable for a bit; it's going to be a long night." 

Thane smiled at him, and a thought sprang suddenly to mind. Perhaps, even, an opportunity. He wasn’t sure if there would be another chance for it, at any rate. "I seem to recall that you owe me a drink," he said.

Garrus snorted. "I've got _no_ idea what you're talking about, Krios," he drawled, lying through those sharp teeth.

Thane snickered and shook his head, then concentrated briefly. His eyes widened sharply as he coaxed the memory out of his consciousness and it tumbled forth from his lips: "the turian’s breath hitches in his throat, ocean-blue eyes drilling into me as his body squirms beneath mine. My hands tighten around his wrists, his fringe scrapes against the metal of the shuttle bay floor. He struggles in my grasp, his resistance fails by the second. ‘Do you submit?’ I demand a second time. At last he relents as he accepts defeat. ‘Yeah, Thane,’ he sighs.”

The turian in question glanced away quickly, his eyes darting downward, and Thane could not help but chuckle silently at his embarrassment. Garrus's mandibles flared as he let out a light, nervous cough, but he smoothly recovered. "Have I mentioned lately how much I hate it when you do that?" He laughed a bit sheepishly, then shrugged and cleared his throat. "Well, why not? We've got plenty of time to kill anyway. But I'm picking the place. Then you can wax poetic about my eyes some more."

“That depends on how good the drink is,” Thane replied dryly. He smirked at Garrus, and raised one of his brow ridges. “Buy me one of those...’fancy hanar wines’, as you put it, and I might.” 

“Alright, Thane,” Garrus said. “Lucky for you, I know just the place.” 

 

* * *

 

The Tevura was as posh and exclusive as Illium’s luxury hotels got, a sleek and modern spire of glass and steel towering over the Nos Astra cityscape. It was the sort of place CEOs, moguls, and celebrities went when they wanted privacy from the glare of the paparazzi--the sort of place Garrus only ever set foot in during the course of an investigation back in his C-Sec days, when his badge bought him what his paltry detective’s salary couldn’t.

This time, he had the credits, if not the confidence. But that wasn’t going to stop him. Garrus wasn’t sure why he felt he had something to prove, but he was going to do it, one way or another.

"A fine choice," Thane said, as they entered the minimalist lobby. His footsteps were silent on the sleek marble tiles. "Perhaps a bit...pricier than I expected…"

"Look, I've never been able to afford a place this nice. Figured I might as well while I had the chance," Garrus said. 

Thane smiled. "What happened to your vigilante's salary?"

"Got a bit of a bonus on my last job. Turns out my boss _really_ liked me," Garrus said with a light chuckle. “Besides, when I make a bet, I make it for keeps.”

Thane’s expression was typically deadpan. “There’s no need to impress me, Garrus.”

“Good thing I’m not trying to, then,” Garrus shot back a little too quickly. Thane laughed softly, lowering his head for a moment, and then looked back up to smile again. 

It struck Garrus then, and not for the first time, how very expressive drell faces were. Maybe it was those big black eyes, or the malleable lips that always quirked just so, but he didn’t get how people always thought Thane was so cold. They just didn’t know him like Garrus did.

“Very well,” Thane said. “But at least allow me to pay for the room. I do have an account here.”

Of course he did. Why was Garrus so entirely unsurprised by that? “Sure. I wasn’t really looking forward to spending the night on a bench at the spaceport, anyway.”

Thane nodded, and Garrus stood by and watched as he exchanged a few pleasant words with the asari at the front desk, booking them a quiet suite tucked away on the upper levels under one of his aliases. “Sere Nuada” smiled politely and left his small satchel for the bellhop, then slid the entry card into the front pocket of his trenchcoat.

“Shall we?” Thane said, gesturing toward the bar on the far side of the lobby. He took the lead before Garrus even realized it, and walked through the glass doors with his usual aloof confidence, gliding past the bouncer like he owned the place. The hotel’s Haven lounge was the most elegant in the city, an aptly named oasis of tasteful luxury tucked away from the bustling, non-stop energy outside. Cigar smoke hung in the air, filtered by dim blue lighting, hovering in wisps around glamorously dressed fashionistas in pinstripes and leather. 

Garrus deflated a bit then, suddenly keenly aware of the scars on his face and distinctly utilitarian clothing. Nonetheless, he kept up with Thane, doing his best to hide that self-consciousness under his swagger. “It’s not too smoky in here for you, is it?” he asked the drell.

“Not particularly,” Thane replied. He led Garrus toward a relatively secluded corner of the lounge, with a dark leather sectional bathed in shadow and a small table in the center. Garrus was oddly reminded of the furniture in Shepard’s cabin, and wondered if maybe that was why Thane was drawn to it too. They took seats opposite each other, and Garrus stretched out his legs.

A lanky asari hostess walked over as soon as they were settled, her omni-tool aglow. “Can I get you gentlemen anything?” she asked.

“I’ll have a Blue Shift to start,” Garrus said.

The asari pressed a few buttons, then turned to Thane. “And you, Sere?” she asked. 

“A glass of Belanese red. 2148, if you still have it,” Thane answered, his eyes staring off into the distance, somewhere into the small crowd blowing smoke rings around each other. The hostess smiled warmly and entered in the order, then took her leave. 

“You’re looking a bit pensive. If it’s those drell memories eating your head again, maybe you should have gotten something a little stronger,” Garrus said.

“I just never thought I’d come back here,” Thane said, leaning back into the leather sofa. “I hadn’t exactly planned on it. The last time I was here, I was meeting my contact for the Dantius commission. I only feigned drinking so as not to draw attention to myself, because I needed my head clear. Interesting how circumstances have changed since then.”

“Seems like there’s a lot of things we hadn’t exactly planned on,” Garrus said. “But what’s changed that’s got you wanting to drink? And don’t tell me it’s because I’m buying.”

Thane smiled faintly. “That may have something to do with it. But I think we both know the reason. I believe we may even share it.”

“What, the impending invasion of deadly sentient machines bent on our destruction?” Garrus snorted. “Been there, done that.”

“Be serious, Garrus.”

“I am. You think I’m not worried about the Reapers? Shepard bought us some time, but who knows how much? And the one person who could possibly stop them is on her way to a brig on Earth. If she were turian, the Hierarchy would be giving her a medal and a promotion. Instead, the Alliance is putting her on trial. I’d say more than a little bit of drinking is in order,” Garrus replied, his fingers curling into fists. 

“Be still, ash’er,” Thane said, his eyes narrowing. “You said it yourself: Imani will be fine.”

“...and you still haven’t told me what that means,” Garrus muttered.

“Perhaps someday, I will,” Thane said. He blinked suddenly, lightly chuckling to himself with an enigmatic smile. That expression always drove Garrus nuts, because it meant he knew something he damn well wasn’t going to explain. And Garrus hated jokes he wasn’t in on. 

The hostess brought their drink order to the table then, mercifully, and Garrus reached over to take his neon blue glass in hand. Crystal clear ice clinked against the side as the alcohol trickled down his throat, a smooth, slow burn with a hint of mint. It wasn’t anything like the cheap swill down in the Wards, the elcor piss specials he used to joke about back in his C-Sec days, made with turian bathtub shine and watered down to the point it damn near legally couldn’t be called liquor. It’d been years since he had a Blue Shift as good as this.

He glanced over at Thane, watched as the pale red wine swirled in his glass before the drell raised it to his thick, pouting lips. Garrus never paid much attention to lips before, but Shepard taught him a few things about them that made him take notice, and Thane’s were just about as thick as hers. They left a broad mark on the glass when he lowered it, his tongue flickering between them just quickly enough to taste the lingering wine on his lips. 

The ice in Garrus’ own glass made a tinkling sound as it melted down a bit and shifted, startling him briefly enough that he realized he was holding his breath. His mandibles twitched, and he quickly took another drink. 

“I would ask you how the turian drinks are here,” Thane said, “but it seems your empty glass speaks for their quality.”

Garrus glanced down at his hand, and there was nothing left inside but swiftly melting ice. When he glanced back up, Thane was taking another long drink of wine, his eyes closed in repose as he savored it.

He was going to need a few more Blue Shifts.

Garrus tapped the holo panel on the table, and ordered another, along with a turian brandy. “Want anything else, or are you good with the wine?” he asked Thane.

“I think I’ll have a gin and tonic,” Thane answered, draining his glass. Garrus punched in the order, and the new drinks arrived shortly, their old ones cleared out by the hostess, and they took each in hand.

Thane dipped a slender green finger in his glass, circling it around the rim, and as Garrus’ eyes moved between drell and drink, he realized that all too familiar feeling of confusion had snuck up on him again, nearly as deep and consuming as it had been when they sparred. Every move Thane made seemed to distract him, and he felt Thane’s eyes locked upon him with another loaded, enigmatic stare as they drank in silence. Garrus didn’t need a drell's memory to vividly recall that look; it was the same one he wore when they were sparring, curiosity and intrigue and perhaps even an invitation. To what, Garrus wasn’t entirely sure. Or maybe he was, and he was just fooling himself with this confusion?

…He was definitely going to need another Blue Shift. Or three.

They both sunk a little deeper into the sofa after a few more refills. The strange nervousness seemed to melt away as the alcohol burned in Garrus’ blood, and his muscles relaxed in a pleasant, tingling buzz. “You’re doing alright, Thane. Didn’t think you liked anything stronger than tea,” Garrus said, stretching a lanky arm along the top of the couch as he took another drink.

“I’ve acquired a taste for many strong things,” Thane said, and mimicked his gesture. Their hands nearly met at the corner’s edge when he did so.

Garrus’ mouth suddenly felt dry again, and he took another long swig from his glass. “Is that so?” he said, mandibles twitching again.

“I believe it’s something we have in common, isn’t it?” The corner of Thane’s mouth curled into a faint smile as he idly sipped from his own glass. 

“Oh, I think it is,” Garrus said, distracted by sudden thoughts of Shepard shoving him against the elevator wall. These were oddly punctuated by thoughts of his wrists held in a tight, iron grip by Thane’s strong hands. Garrus's own fingers flexed and curled around the blue glass he held, and he took another drink. Any more of that slow burn down his throat, and he’d find some interesting answers at the bottom of the glass. Maybe it was just liquid courage; alcohol always had a funny way of making things clearer …or at least it made confusion matter less. Whichever it was, Garrus felt emboldened by the growing warmth in his blood and his relaxed nerves, and decided to go with the flow, as it were. “So what do you do that _really_ gets Shepard hot?” he asked.

“Are you trying to one-up me?” Thane smirked as his hand stroked the top of the couch, and his eyes never left Garrus's.

“What makes you think I need to?” Garrus replied smugly. “But it’s not about bets or keeping score, not this time. This is just a couple of colleagues comparing notes, talking shop. Professional curiosity, you could say.” 

“Well, then.” Thane stared at him for a long moment before finally speaking again. “That depends on just how curious you really are, ash’er.” His eyes narrowed, the double lids sliding into a slow blink. “And how much you wish to sate that curiosity.”

Garrus met his stare, unflinching, the blood growing warmer in his veins only partially from alcohol. “Try me.”

The drell set his empty glass on the table, then slid closer to the corner of the sofa where their respective sections met. Thane leaned in close toward Garrus, crossing his legs. “Do you recall her favorite dress? The black leather one, that she always wears with the silver choker?” he asked.

“Mmm hmm,” Garrus rumbled, inching closer to him. Garrus had very fond memories of that dress, in fact…the fondest being the way it crumpled into a heap next to her bed. 

He was suddenly jarred from that pleasant train of thought by the touch of Thane’s hand on his leg.

“When I take my hand, like this,” Thane said in a hushed tone, as his hand slowly crept its way up Garrus’ thigh, “and slide it up that dress, her breath quickens in anticipation, and she clings to me.”

Garrus’ mouth parted slightly, but he said nothing, his breath and words caught in his throat.

Thane leaned in closer, his nose brushing against Garrus's visor; he curled his webbed fingers over Garrus’s inner thigh to stroke it, the warmth of his scales sending involuntary shivers down Garrus’ spine. “These fingers are her favorite,” Thane continued, and his voice had fallen to a low, husky whisper in Garrus’ ear. “When I slip them inside her, when I tease her, she squirms and makes the most delightful sounds. Her skin grows flushed and warm. ‘Hot’, as you put it.”

Garrus’ breath hitched, at Thane’s touch and his words, and all he could think of was those webbed drell fingers slipping between Imani’s black lace and soft, golden brown skin--and then his thoughts turned to how those fingers would feel curled around his own ridges, slick and glistening from her wetness. At that, his blood rushed south so fast he had to blink to focus, and remember to breathe. 

“Guess that would do it,” Garrus said, as he lifted his glass to his mouth, to soothe his suddenly parched throat.

Thane smiled wickedly and he lowered his eyes then; his pursed lips hovered so close to Garrus’ skin that he could feel warm breath upon his neck. The sensation sent yet more shivers down his spine and he found himself trembling a bit. 

“Has your curiosity been satisfied as yet?” Thane asked, his hand sliding up Garrus’ thigh, drifting dangerously closer to his swollen cloaca with each teasing caress. “Or shall I continue?”

Garrus downed the rest of his drink in one long chug, then slammed the glass down on the table in determination, filled to brimming with liquid courage and the kind of understanding that was only found when the give-a-damn was gone right along with the brandy. “I think it’s time we addressed the elephant in the room, as the humans say,” he said bluntly.

“All I see in this room is a flustered turian,” Thane said, squeezing his thigh firmly, and he felt his cloaca tightening even further; he found himself needing to once again bend every ounce of muscle control he had toward holding himself in, just like he had when they were sparring. Once could have been a fluke, but twice? This had gotten serious, in a hurry, and he needed to make sense of it before things escalated any further. 

“I’m serious, Thane,” Garrus said, forcing himself to focus. “I know even less about drell than I do about humans, but even I can see where this is headed.”  
  
Thane pulled away from him then, nodding in understanding. “I suppose the question then becomes one of intent, and desire. _Is_ this what your body desires, ash’er?” he asked softly. “Is this what you want? Tell me it isn’t and this ends now, with no malice between us. I only want this if it’s what you want.” Thane paused, staring at him intently, searchingly. “And if you’re sober enough to want it.” 

Looking back, Garrus had to admit that this moment had been a long time coming, that all the bluster and competition was just covering something deeper between them. And even he was a little surprised when he finally realized the question had long since been settled, before Thane even asked it. That sparring match was just the deciding force that led them both to the hotel, and not just to settle accounts from a bet. Maybe Garrus had just been oblivious to this tension between them and fumbling for understanding in his own way, the same way he had with Shepard for so long. But it was obvious now even to Garrus how badly Thane clearly wanted him, and there was no denying how mutual it was. His body was on fire, and there wasn’t a whole lot of room for confusion anymore. 

And maybe it was time to take a page from Shepard’s playbook, and just go for it. If there was a single thing she’d taught him, it was that he didn’t necessarily have to know what he was doing to know what he wanted. His body didn’t seem to give a damn that Thane was a drell man and he’d had experience with neither, after all. And it was now or never; who knew when they’d get this chance again?

Throwing caution to the wind with gin-soaked confidence, Garrus turned and boldly grasped Thane’s neck frills, then pressed his mouth firmly against his pouting lips. Kissing still wasn’t exactly something that came naturally to Garrus, but he’d done it enough times with Shepard that he’d even started to enjoy it. Thane’s lips were nearly as soft and thick as hers, their smoothness a stark contrast to the rough, scarred cartilage around his mouth plate.

“That answer your question?” he said, drawing back and exhaling through his nostrils with a slow blink. 

“I suppose it does,” Thane said, with a broad smile. “We should find somewhere more...suitable, then. The suite, perhaps?”

“Sounds good. Let’s take this party upstairs,” Garrus agreed.

It felt a little surreal when Garrus stepped into the sleek elevator down the hall from the lounge with Thane, their steps muffled by the plush carpet. In one single graceful movement, Thane hit the button for their floor and gently pushed Garrus’ back to the wall, casually pinning him as the doors shut. The alcohol was singing in Garrus’ blood, and Thane’s body was warm as it pressed against his, his breath a contrast of bitter tonic scented by the faint sweetness of the hanar wine.  

“Concerned we’ll get caught?” Thane asked, breathing into his ear. 

“It’s a little late for that now,” Garrus murmured as his talons raked indentations in the back of Thane’s leather trenchcoat. “Besides, it’s part of the fun, isn’t it?”

He shut up when Thane leaned in and reached up to grab him by the underside of his fringe, then leaned down and hungrily kissed his neck, his tongue drawing swirls around the micro plates speckled across it, teeth nipping the sensitive brown skin. Garrus’ breathing grew ragged, and he finally lost control of his cloaca; he could feel his hardened cock slipping out to attention, straining against the zipper of his pants. 

That damned elevator wasn’t moving nearly fast enough. Did they ever? 

“Have you come out to play, then?” Thane rumbled, his warm hand reaching down to squeeze Garrus’ crotch. The turian gasped, his pants unbearably tight.

“You’ve done this before?” Garrus asked, his voice trailing into a low moan of pleasure.

“With men of my own species, never turian. But you’re not the only one who’s been watching vids,” Thane said, grinning as he idly groped and fondled him. “I’m particularly fond of _Privates of Palaven,_ ”he quipped.

“So you’ve got a turian kink. Guess it’s my lucky night,” Garrus said, his hands sliding down and inside Thane’s coat to grab his ass, muscular and firm inside his tight leather pants. The smart remark to follow was stolen from his mouth when he felt a large bulge pressed against his own. Thane was even harder than he was, and Garrus found himself aroused even further by the notion. 

“I suppose we’re both lucky tonight,” Thane agreed, with a little sigh of pleasure as he rubbed his crotch against Garrus’. “But perhaps we should take care and move slowly, so as not to harm each other.”

“Not likely, Thane,” Garrus murmured, kneading his ass to emphasize the point. “If it’s the levo/dextro thing you’re worried about, though, don’t be. Imani and I manage just fine.”

The elevator stopped and the doors parted open; they disentangled from each other just long enough to exit. Thane’s hand was trembling slightly when he slid the access card out of his pocket and slipped it inside the door. With a click, it opened, and Thane turned to Garrus. 

“Coming?” The drell’s brow quirked in the air, his dark eyes smoldering.

There were about a billion smart ass replies ready at hand, but Garrus played it cool. “After you,” he purred in response, with a twinkle in his eye.

He followed Thane inside the spacious suite, making a brisk stride for the bedroom. The penthouse was dimly lit and luxuriously furnished, but all his attention was firmly stolen by the sight of the drell stripping his tight black clothes off. There were no neat piles, not like in the shuttle bay; he unceremoniously dumped his coat in the middle of the floor, his vest soon to follow. And this time, Garrus felt no compunction about openly admiring the drell’s sleek, taut, and muscular body. It was very easy to see what Shepard saw in him.

Garrus shared his sense of urgency, and followed his lead, pulling off his turtleneck sweater just in time to find himself shoved with his back against a wall again. He lifted his chin and rested his cheek against the wall, allowing Thane access to his neck again just as he did in the elevator. The drell’s tongue was warm and firm against his sensitive skin, and Garrus squirmed against him, his body aching for more. He felt Thane’s hands unbuckling and unzipping his pants, setting his cock mercifully free from the strain of the tight fabric. Slender, green fingers curled around the shaft, the slight webbing of the two sliding around the sensitive ridges for extra friction. Garrus’ breath hitched in his throat, the sensation nearly enough to make him come just on its own.

“Do you want me to go down on you?” Thane whispered in his ear, as he twisted his hand up and down, his fingers massaging the tip. “Because I’d love to.”

“Damn right I do,” Garrus muttered, impossibly hard at the mere thought. Thane dropped to his knees before him, his thick drell lips pursed around the broad tip of Garrus’ thick blue cock, his tongue soft and moist as it swirled around its ridges, his mouth warm and deliciously inviting. He suckled gently at first, teasing with only the slightest amount of pressure from his lips, which earned him a low, flanged growl of petulance.

Thane took a moment to pull away for air, but then Garrus’ eyes rolled back into his head and he let out a low moan of pleasure as Thane engulfed him with his mouth. His knees began to buckle, his balance faltering with each twist of Thane’s hand and mouth upon him. Ever attentive, Thane pulled away and beckoned him toward the nearby bed; he didn’t have to be told twice. Garrus quickly pulled his boots and pants off, kicking them to the side, and propped himself up on the pillows against the headboard while Thane unzipped his own pants, but the drell was too impatient to pull them off entirely. Instead, he swooped down upon Garrus with quick and powerful grace. He hungrily kissed and licked his way down the turian’s body before forcefully spreading his legs wide and resuming right where he left off. With a long, languid caress of his tongue down the shaft, Thane slurped and sucked his cock, sprawling between his spread thighs. One hand reached beneath Garrus’s ass for more leverage, the other slid down between his own legs to grab his own cock. He eased into a graceful rhythm, his mouth suckling Garrus as his hand twisted up and down his own cock.

The sight of Thane’s taut, shapely ass writhing below him as he grinded against his own hand, green scales slipping out as his pants slid down, was driving Garrus insane. He raised his hips up, grinding into Thane’s warm mouth until he was half fucking it with his cock, his muscles tensing further with each stroke. With each upward thrust, he eased deeper into Thane’s mouth, but his girth didn’t seem to matter at all; with infinite grace, that warm and inviting mouth just sucked him down deeper. Garrus moaned somewhat deliriously, and he couldn’t stop staring down at Thane’s prone, lanky body sprawled between his thighs. As amazingly good as his mouth felt, all Garrus think of was pinning him down, sliding inside his ass, and riding him like-- 

Garrus clinched and groaned loudly as his entire body tensed, his eyes clamped shut, and he came so hard he saw bright spots, shooting a torrent into Thane’s mouth and down his throat. He panted for a moment, and sank back into the pillows, as Thane pursed his lips and wiped the sweat from his chin.

“I would ask you how I was,” he purred, kissing each of Garrus’ thighs by turns, “but I can taste it. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” 

Garrus’s mandibles flared a bit in mildly panting laughter, and he took a moment to catch his breath before speaking again. “That’s a bit of an understatement, Thane. No one’s ever made me come like that besides Shepard.”

“I’m pleased to hear I measure up to her impossible standard,” Thane said with a smile.  

“You alright?” Garrus asked, reaching down to rest his hand on Thane’s cheek. “You should’ve spit.”

Thane nodded, but his nose crinkled, his expression faintly sheepish. “I meant to, I just...I lost myself for a moment. But there’s no cause for alarm. I’m a bit winded and my mouth is tingling, but I’m otherwise fine.”

He rose up off the bed and sat back to rest on his heels, his own cock still in hand, and Garrus blinked in surprise when he finally got a decent look at it. He wasn’t sure exactly what he’d expected, but that was pretty damned impressive. And _colorful_. Thane had ridges, the same as a turian, but his were more like graceful corkscrew spirals, encircling a gradient of colors like a sunset: shades of rust, and soft ochre, and even a bit of pink. Garrus’ mandibles flared in sudden, fond amusement. Even that drell’s dick was beautiful. Was there anything about him that wasn’t?

And just when did Garrus start thinking Thane was beautiful, anyway?

“You seem distracted, ash’er,” Thane said gently, green fingers twisting along the soft colors. It _was_ a terribly distracting thing to watch, scaled hips squirming, the deft hand sliding up and down that enormous cock. Garrus was already hardening again.

“Maybe I am,” he whispered, as he began to stroke himself. “You’re pretty damned distracting.”

“What do you think?” Thane asked. Garrus narrowed his eyes, his mind still held captive by the thought that drove him over the edge as he was being sucked off. He wasn’t sure exactly how it would work, but raw lust was winning out over nerves and inexperience.

“I think,” Garrus began, his voice trembling, “that I want to pound you into the mattress until you can’t take it anymore, if that’s alright by you.”

Thane’s eyelids were heavy, his lips parted slightly as his grip tightened upon himself. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that for months, ash’er. It seems my prayers have been answered.”

“They haven’t even begun to get answered,” Garrus said. He pushed up off the bed and lunged at Thane, pinning him down with his upper body strength, talons digging into his wrists. “I’ll have you screaming for your gods all night.”

Thane snickered beneath him, but his breath was short, and he was squirming. “How is it that from anyone else, such a turn of phrase would sound hopelessly ridiculous, yet from you it only arouses me more?” 

“It’s the voice, turians make anything sound sexy. All we have to do is growl enough, put a little bass into it. It drives Shepard _crazy_.”

Thane laughed softly in spite of himself, double eyelids shut in mirth. “Garrus Vakarian, you are the single most incorrigible man I have ever met.”

“I get that a lot,” Garrus said with a sharp fanged grin. He hesitated, then, not out of discomfort--far from it--but he was flustered, and a little bit at a loss as to what to do next, and it must have showed, because Thane glanced up at him just then.

“Give me a moment,” Thane said, and Garrus nodded, releasing him somewhat reluctantly from his grip. The drell deftly rolled off the bed to his feet. He quickly went to the open closet, and dug through his satchel on the floor momentarily before walking back to the bed, and Garrus’ waiting arms. A dark blue ring of plastic dangled from one of his fingers, and he held a small black tube in his hand. As he sat back on the bed, he unscrewed the cap.

“Is it--?” Garrus started, but Thane nodded before he could finish the question.

“Water-based,” Thane said, squeezing clear liquid out onto his hand.

Universal chirality, then, Garrus thought. His shoulders relaxed. As much as his horny bravado dismissed the idea back in the elevator, he had been a little worried about it. Imani was one thing, with all her crazy cybernetics rendering even the strongest of actual poisons harmless in her system. But Thane was quite a bit more mortal than that, and Garrus wasn’t sure what effect he’d have. Not another time, so soon after one orgasm.

Almost as if to answer his question, he saw the blue ring flying toward him, and he caught it with his free hand.

Thane came prepared, it seemed. 

Garrus fumbled with the small device, his hands quivering, to release the catches that made it bigger. It was hard to concentrate with Thane being so damned distracting; the drell had finally peeled off his leather pants, and slickened webbed fingers disappeared behind and beneath him. Garrus dropped the ring a couple of times before tearing his eyes away from him to fix them on what he was doing, and finally got the ring large enough to slip down on himself; just large enough to fit, tight with just the right amount of pressure. It’d been a while since he’d used one of these; he’d gotten a pretty basic one from Mordin after their little talk, but Imani liked it better when he didn’t use it. It was some kind of psychological kick for her, apparently, feeling him shoot inside her.

But he didn’t want to take chances with Thane. With a touch of a tiny holo button, a micro thin kinetic barrier flickered out from the ring and encased the length of his shaft. He rumbled softly when Thane slithered up to hover over him, his lips curled into a crooked smile, and he slid glossy green hands up and down Garrus’ cock.

“Have you done this before?” Thane asked softly, massaging his thumb into the tip again, as he did before, with just the right amount of pressure to make him throb and arc into his hand. Garrus squirmed, and his legs spread wider.

“Good hands,” Garrus murmured as he sank down into the pillows, growing harder and slicker in Thane’s grasp. “But--yeah, I’ve had anal. Just not with a man. Or a drell. Or a drell man--damn, Thane.”

Thane squeezed yet more lube from the bottle, directly onto Garrus’ cock that time, and it was incredibly warm as it dripped down the shaft. Thane’s hand was soon to follow, twisting up and down slowly, stealing the words from his mouth and the thoughts from his brain. Garrus only got another smile in response to his choked silence, followed by a trail of kisses down his scarred cheek and neck. His body tensed, his hips unconsciously moving up to meet Thane’s hand. Then, the pleasant friction was suddenly gone, and Thane rolled over to rest on his side, half sprawled on his stomach with his knee bent just so on the bed, his ass prone and taut.

He then took his own hand and reached behind himself, his wet fingers slipping inside his ass one at a time, stretching and stroking and fingering himself in preparation, and Garrus was throbbing just watching him again. It had precisely the same effect on him that watching Imani play with herself did, and he found himself admiring how similar Thane’s chiseled physique was to hers, from behind at least--but Thane was harder, his toned muscles bigger, slick scales rougher to the touch than her soft skin. Nothing like a turian, but it didn’t seem to matter to him anymore--just like he’d learned to appreciate her human form. The drell one wasn’t all that different, really. And it mattered even less that it belonged to a man. It was incredible in its own way, and he wanted it just the same. Because it was Thane’s--Thane’s lips and hands, Thane’s tongue and curves. His body, beckoning to Garrus. And who was he to turn down an invitation that good?

“Is this the part where I growl and snarl about ramming my big blue cock into your tender, squishy ass?” Garrus drawled, stretching out behind him, all slick hardness pressed against Thane’s inner thigh. “That’s pretty popular in the hetero interspecies turian vids I’ve seen, anyway. I’m not sure if the gay ones are any different.” 

Thane chuckled into the pillow, his hand clenched for a moment as his body racked with laughter. “They aren’t, not really. Shall I pretend to beg for it, then?” 

Leaning down, Garrus took him by the wrist, moving Thane’s hand out of the way. “Hmm. Maybe I should make it so you don’t have to,” he breathed softly. He raked his talons down Thane’s side, resting a hand upon his hip. “Anything in particular I should know? I’ve only ever done this with Shepard.” 

“Actually, if you’ve done this with Imani, it’s quite similar,” Thane replied, and sighed pleasantly as Garrus’s hand began kneading his ass, before continuing. “Drell are incredibly sensitive there, and we’re...flexible. I can take more than you might believe. Just take your time in the beginning. Ease into it, so to speak. There’s no need to rush.” Thane grinned, then. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t, in fact.”

“I think I can do that,” Garrus said. He gently nipped at Thane’s neck frills with the barest hint of teeth. “You ready for me?” he breathed into his ear.

“Absolutely,” Thane moaned quietly in reply, as his slick hand reached down for his own cock again.

Garrus firmly took his ass in one hand, spreading him to find his target, then guided the broad tip of his cock against the opening with the other hand. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he began to push it gently inside.

“Gods,” Thane winced, his lips curled into a grimace, and he clamped down on his lower lip with his teeth. 

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” Garrus asked, freezing in place, his hand rested on Thane’s thigh.

“Yes,” Thane hissed through clenched teeth. “But it’s a good hurt, I assure you. Keep going, ash’er. Slowly, but keep going.” 

“Are you sure--” 

“Don’t stop,” Thane commanded sharply with a low rumble of pleasure and yearning that made Garrus even harder. 

He didn’t have to be told a third time.

Slowly, he inched his way into Thane, using his ridges as a guide. He rolled his hips, gradually penetrating deeper with each thrust; when he buried to one ridge, he maintained that level of depth for a moment, watching Thane intently. It took every ounce of self-control Garrus had to keep to such an agonizing pace, though. Thane’s ass was so unbelievably warm and tight, and it yielded to his cock as though he belonged there all along. 

Before long, he was riding him sheathed to the hilt, flowing into a steady rhythm. He squeezed Thane’s cheeks, massaging them with trembling hands, his talons digging into scales as his cock glided in and out at an easy pace. Back and forth, lulling him into a leisurely, natural kind of bliss filled with heat and delicious friction. Nothing felt so damned good, so right, as being inside Thane, feeling him buck back against him, hearing his low moans of pleasure. Garrus sprawled across his back, pressing against him, pinning him face down to the bed, lost in his own sensations as he rode his ass. But after several long moments of grinding into him, his reverie was interrupted by the sound of muffled coughing beneath him, and he was startled back into full attention.

“Garrus--” Thane croaked hoarsely, his breath short. Garrus froze in sudden alarm. 

“Thane?” Garrus asked sharply, immediately rolling off his back. The drell pushed off the bed and sat up, panting, and coughed for a long moment. Garrus’ heart sank watching it, his mandibles twitching, reaching for him in hesitation, but stopped. He felt a little helpless then, but the moment passed, and Thane smiled at him in reassurance.

“Too much pressure on my chest,” Thane explained, his breaths more steady then. “That position...can be problematic for me, with a top-heavy partner.” 

Garrus nodded, silently cursing himself, and shook his head, more irritated with himself than anything. Things were going too damned good--of course he’d screw it up, he always did. “I’m sorry, Thane,” he said a bit lamely. “Guess I just got carried away.” 

Thane leaned over, across the bed, and pressed his lips soundly against Garrus’ mouth. “I’m fine, ash’er. No harm done. It sounds worse than it truly is, and the fault is partially mine for not speaking up sooner.” He smiled impishly at Garrus. “I was carried away also.”

“Really, now?” Garrus purred, stroking his thighs. 

Thane slid back to rest against the pillows, propped on the headboard, and spread his legs invitingly, his scales flush with warmth. “Are you going to continue where we left off, or do I have to beg after all?”

Grinning, Garrus eased back to rest on his spurs, and slipped his hands beneath Thane. “Will you be alright like this? You won’t have trouble breathing?”

Thane stretched out, his long, muscled legs bent to rest upon Garrus’ wide hip bones, and he shifted his weight to allow Garrus access. He wrapped his legs around him in a vice grip, and smirked. “More than alright,” he said.

It was all the reassurance Garrus needed. Spreading Thane open beneath him, he plunged his cock inside again, taking none of the previous care, and picked right up where he’d left off. Thane gasped, but this time his breath was taken away for all the good reasons, as his closed eyes and broad smile showed. Garrus rolled his hips into Thane’s ass, gripping his thighs for greater leverage, determined to prove he could be just as graceful as the drell. With each roll of his hips, Garrus grinded deep into him with slow, powerful thrusts. Thane’s moans came louder and more insistent, no longer muffled by the bed, and it was music to his ears.  

It was a raw kind of tenderness they shared, deep and stirring and strong, and it was all too easy for Garrus to lose himself in it as he did the first time. There was no danger of hurting Thane this time. Just undeniable pleasure for them both, in the heat.

His lids heavy, he watched eagerly as Thane’s hand slid up and down his cock to match Garrus’ smooth rhythm. Twisting and jerking it went across his spiraling shaft, and it drove Garrus wild to watch. Wilder still was the way Thane’s body had come entirely alive with passion, his head thrown back and eyes closed, completely given over to his lust and the competing sensations of pleasure. It was one of the most perfect things Garrus ever seen, seeing him prone and raw and vulnerable as he rode him, the chiseled abs rippling in waves as his body tensed and relaxed by turns with building pressure, hips bucking and rising as Garrus plunged harder and faster into him. The sight was more beautiful than Garrus could describe.

“I’m--” was all Thane could manage, his voice trailing down into a low, dark growl, a register so deep Garrus didn’t think it was possible for someone who wasn’t a turian. The sound washed over him like cresting waves and Garrus moaned in counterpoint, driven to pound him harder, his talons digging deeper into Thane’s hips to the point of leaving claw marks. The heat was driving him mad, the tension in his cock building and straining, but he fought to hold back. This was one contest Garrus wanted desperately to win, not for bragging rights, but for the sheer satisfaction of it all. The more Thane tensed up, the harder and faster Garrus shoved his cock into him, until finally the drell’s entire body stiffened and he let out a deep, guttural sound as an arc of faintly shimmering cum shot out and onto his glistening scales, covering his chest in an opalescent white sheen.

The sight of it, of Thane panting as he squeezed the last drops from his wet, swollen cock, sent Garrus careening over the edge into oblivion, and he grunted hard, talons drawing the faintest hint of blood from Thane’s hips as his entire body shuddered in orgasm. He barely heard the quiet hum of energy beneath him as the kinetic barrier evaporated the fluid shooting out of him. 

When it was over, he hunched over in blissful exhaustion, lazily stroking Thane’s hips and thighs, less out of any kind of lingering desire--he was definitely spent--and more from a simple need to touch him. Thane glanced down at him, smiling in exhaustion, and he chuckled softly, mandibles twitching. Later on, there’d be the incredulous amusement about just what exactly they’d done here, the “did I really bang Krios?” amazement and self-deprecating jokes. Not now, though. Now was for quiet content, muscles and bones turned to liquid, the buzz that felt better than any kind of drink, and a simple kind of happiness. Garrus wasn’t a complicated sort of man, and this was enough for him. He almost didn’t want to speak, not to ruin this kind of moment. It meant too much.

But he winced a bit when he noticed the swollen red claw marks stretched across the length of the black stripes down Thane’s hip bones, and Garrus was suddenly embarrassed as hell--even if he found the sight more than a little appealing. “Sorry about that, I guess I got a little carried away again.”

Thane laughed softly, his double eyelids heavy. “I’m not complaining.” He sank back into the pillows, sighing contented. “It’s been quite some time since I was last with anyone that way. Thank you.”

“Guess I did alright, then,” Garrus said, his tone more than a little smug. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d ask if you’ve been watching drell vids,” Thane said, flashing a grin. His brow quirked then, his eyes flickering. “How do you feel? This was your first time, in a manner of speaking.”

Garrus pulled out and collapsed on the pillows beside him, propping his head on his hand, with an arm draped across Thane’s chest. “Like we should have done this a long time ago,” he said softly in reply. He reached out, stroking Thane’s neck frills, still possessed by a powerful need to touch him, to keep that connection, as if he were afraid it would crumble if he took his hands away. “It’s not that I was repulsed by the idea, or anything like that,” Garrus continued, thinking aloud. “I’d just never really thought about it before, is all. And you had a way of making it appealing.”

Thane rolled over to face him, looking at him intently. “And what do you think should come of this?”

The thousand credit question, and the one thing that was furthest from Garrus’ mind from the moment he’d kissed him in the bar. Reality was creeping back in already. He sighed a little, realizing perhaps a bit too late that this hadn’t been about trying to get Thane out of his system, any more than the time he spent with Imani before the Omega 4 Relay had been about dealing with the tension and putting it out of his mind. Looking into Thane’s questioning eyes, remembering the way he smiled at him, the way he looked writhing beneath him, the gnawing and maddening sense of worry he’d had in the Collector Base when he couldn’t raise either of them over comm when he was leading that second distraction team...all of these things, and a thousand more, were enough flags even to Garrus that this wasn’t about sex and maybe had never been about sex. What it meant for him and Imani was a whole other minefield.

And then there was the Kepral’s. 

“I think...well, I’m not really sure what to think,” Garrus admitted, lightly grasping Thane’s neck. “I don’t really know how this is supposed to work, this whole interspecies thing. I’m still trying to work it out with a human, and I know even less about what a drell expects or thinks is appropriate after a night like this. All I know is that being around you makes me crazy. And the idea of _never_ being around you makes me even crazier. So what now?”

Thane sighed and shut his eyes, leaning into Garrus’ touch. It was perhaps the first time Garrus had ever seen him less than entirely self-assured. His face fell. “We do what we can, cherish what time we have, whatever it means, and pray that the gods and spirits are merciful enough to grant us more.” He looked up again. “What do you propose we tell Imani? Because we must, you realize. Honesty is the cornerstone of this arrangement, after all.”

The other thousand credit question, and this was the one Garrus was much less certain about answering. Thane was right, of course, but he didn’t know how Shepard would react to this. She seemed to have infinite patience with him, about everything and anything at all, but he wasn’t sure what the protocol was here, if there’d been an expectation of monogamy from him even though she was free to date each of them in turn. That didn’t seem right to him--it wasn't the sort of thing a turian would do anyway, because it was pretty damned cheap and unfair. And those were two qualities Shepard had never shown in all the time he’d known her. But...she was a human, and he just couldn't be certain, still. It frankly made Garrus’ head hurt, and he wasn’t sure this was the sort of thing they needed to dump in her lap just then anyway. Not when she was sitting alone in a brig.  

“Maybe it’s better if we keep it just between us. Until she gets back. She’s going to have an awful lot on her mind with that trial,” Garrus finally said.

“I thought you never kept secrets from Imani,” Thane said, idly sliding a finger along his mandible.

“I can make an exception,” Garrus said softly, “for now.”

Thane sighed. “Perhaps it’s best. Things are so volatile, so uncertain.” He took a deep breath, as deep as his lungs would allow, and then spoke softly. “I’m not staying on Kahje, Garrus.”

Well, that was a surprise. “What, going back to the Citadel to spend some time with Kolyat when he gets out?” Garrus asked.

“Yes, and no. Perhaps later. But my ultimate goal is Sur’Kesh. Mordin invited me there, to conduct some experimental research. He’d approached me several times about seeking treatment, perhaps even a cure, but I refused him. I had my reasons before, reasons that seem hopelessly ornery and irrelevant now. I’ve decided to accept his offer,” Thane said. 

Garrus stared blankly at him. “You didn’t tell Imani, did you?”

“I didn’t want to give her false hope,” Thane admitted, his eyes lowered and downcast, brow furrowed. “This is a longshot at best, Garrus. I didn’t expect to survive our mission. But now that I have...”

“You want to stick around,” Garrus said quietly, finishing the unspoken thought. “For Imani.”

“And my son,” Thane added with another sigh. “I have favors to call in from my previous employers. A word spoken to the right official, and doors will open, information can be made available. That data can help Mordin if I get it to him. But even then, it may not be enough. My body is already beginning to resist the strongest antibiotics available for a drell.”

Garrus firmly kept the darkening thoughts at bay, and stared at Thane. “And what if it is?” 

“Then I’ll have a second chance,” Thane answered simply. “But I’m under no illusions about my prospects, and neither is Imani. Nor should you.”

An awkward silence stretched out for what seemed to Garrus like ages, but Thane was the one to finally break it. “If the worst should come to pass, and Mordin fails--” he began, but Garrus cut him off with a gesture. He didn’t want to think about that, not in that moment. Not with Thane still warm and in his grasp. His mind couldn’t go there. And it was only partially because of what it would do to Imani.

“Don’t talk like that, Thane,” Garrus said sharply.

“But I must. My body’s death is an eventuality for which I’ve prepared for some time. It fills me with dread instead of peace, but still I must say this,” Thane insisted. “Sur’Kesh is my final, desperate shot in the dark, and one I would never have taken, had I not come to realize there is more for me to live for than I ever could have dreamed. It’s a hope born of my love for Imani and my son, but I am under no illusions that it is anything more than the vain hope of a frightened, sentimental fool.”

“You’re not a fool,” Garrus said, squeezing him tightly. “She gave me a reason to live too, remember?”

Thane held Garrus’ face in his hands, his dark eyes stern and unyielding. “Garrus, if that hope should fail, and my body goes to the sea--please, promise me you’ll take care of Imani. Our siha is a strong woman, but I fear she may lose herself to despair. She’s lost so much in her life as it is. Do what you can to comfort her. Love her, in my place, and don’t allow her to carry the burden of my passing alone, as I know she will.”

Garrus curled his fingers around Thane’s wrists. “I’ve had her back since the day we met, Thane. I’m not about to quit now. But it’s a moot point, because you’re going to make it, and you’re going to come back to us. Then we’re going to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of, and have a wild and kinky threesome to celebrate our victory. I’ll even spring for the classy booze again.”

“You’re nearly as stubborn as she is, ash’er,” Thane said, smiling. “Perhaps it’s why you make such a fine pair.” 

Garrus grunted, his mandibles flaring in irritation. He was going to pry what that meant out of Thane if it was the last thing he did. “So you finally going to stop playing coy and tell me what that word's about?”

Thane laughed, then kissed Garrus’ cheek and rested his head against his shoulder. “Very well, I suppose you’ve earned it. In ancient times, when my people still dwelled on Rakhana, our ancestors were nomads who wandered the deserts in search of scattered resources. Tight-knit clans moved encampments from oasis to oasis with the passing of the seasons. The term ‘ash’er’ is a relic of those days, when water was prized above all else and there were many customs and taboos regarding its use. Translated literally, it means, ‘water-brother’. So an ash’er is someone you trust so deeply and so intrinsically that you would gladly share the rarest of treasures with them. It’s used as a term of deep affection.”

The casual playfulness vanished from Garrus’ eyes, and his expression turned pensive and serious. He’d had no idea Thane felt that way about him, about the bond that developed between them over the past few months. It was a strange and wonderful friendship that had blossomed between them in the heat of combat, in quiet moments in the mess talking shop, in the playful moments of rivalry, the dry banter while cleaning rifles in the armory. And that friendship, that bond, only grew stronger in the love they both shared for their headstrong Commander. Together they watched her back--literally, in combat, and figuratively, holding her up as she held them each up. 

It suddenly occurred to Garrus then that it always seemed to be the three of them together, in the most desperate and meaningful of moments of their mission. He saw Thane through his scope outside that nightclub, right at Shepard’s side, praying as she argued for Sidonis’ life. And Garrus was there, watching Thane weep over his son in that dark apartment in Zakera Ward. When Imani made that final desperate leap to the Normandy as the Collector Base was exploding around them all, when it looked like her biotics would finally give out on her, it was Thane picking her up right along with him. 

Maybe that’s why this night felt so right to Garrus, so real. Friend, comrade, and now lover. This ash’er thing, this “Water-Brother” business didn’t seem quite so strange, then. That felt right too.

“Thane, I--thank you,” Garrus said, for once at a loss for words.

“I’ve trusted you with my life on any number of occasions, Garrus,” Thane said softly. “This is no casual thing for one such as myself, so accustomed to existing on my own, the lone wolf hunting in solitary seclusion as it were. I’ve trusted few since Irikah’s passing. But I trust you with the woman we both love, and I trust you.” He reached up then, to stroke Garrus’ cheek, smiling. “You’ve been a true friend to me, and that means a great deal. I’ve had so few in my life. So please, do this for me. I know what you mean to Imani, what you mean to one another. I saw it from the moment I met you both in this very city. I’ve composed a letter for her, should the worst come to pass. It’s my wish that you be the one to give it to her. Promise me, ash’er.”

The affection in his big, dark eyes was as palpable as the musky scent of his warm body, and even Garrus couldn’t help but feel a lump forming in his throat. And not for the first time, he thought back to that damned apartment on Omega, trapped like a cornered animal and under siege, when he had nothing but a rifle and a death wish to take down as many rotten bastards with him as he could. And then he saw Shepard come into scope like something out of a dream and he suddenly knew that everything was going to be alright. It wasn’t just that the cavalry had arrived. It wasn’t just her shotgun, or the searing blue energy ripping those mercs to shreds. It was Shepard: the warm touch of her hand, her smile, those big pretty brown eyes. She was the light at the end of the tunnel, his light. Maybe she always had been.

Garrus knew from empty and alone, and knew what it meant to be pulled out of an abyss so deep and dark that you couldn’t even consider the bottom, never mind see it. And Thane had been living that way for a long time, far longer than Garrus ever had. He could see it in his face in that penthouse, when he laid that dead asari on the desk and prayed for forgiveness he didn’t think he actually deserved. 

Maybe, just maybe, it took two sets of hands to pull him up too.  

“I’ll give her the letter--if everything does go to hell, you’ve got my word on that, by the spirits. But I’m going to extract a promise from you too,” Garrus said, forcing down the lump in his throat. “If this thing on Sur’Kesh works out, and Mordin really does end up finding you a cure, you do everything you can to come back to us. Imani’s going to need help whenever she gets out, and we’re in this fight together. The Reapers are coming, and we need the best damned assassin in the galaxy on our side.”

“By Arashu’s grace, I will do so,” Thane vowed solemnly.

Garrus’ mandibles twitched into a sudden grin, shoving past those heavy feelings. “I’d like to think I gave you a bit of extra incentive,” he drawled.

 “…A great deal of it, actually.” Thane leaned over and slipped his tongue into Garrus’ mouth, drawing him into a fiercely passionate kiss that nearly took his breath away. They held each other tightly, melting into each other’s arms, and it seemed as though Thane was just as reluctant to let go as Garrus was. He lost himself in the moment again, as he did when he was inside Thane, but it was because he didn’t want to think about what this was, what it meant.

He knew it was goodbye, and Garrus hated goodbyes.

 

* * *

 

The sun was fully high in the skies above the Nos Astra spaceport. Shuttles to Palaven were still backed up according to the advisories and the departure board, and there was no telling when Garrus would get to go back home.

 They walked together in silence, as heavy and oppressive as the one that brought them there the night before, and it seemed like the _only_ thing that was the same since that night. There was a bit more hope for Garrus, though, even with all the uncertainty. A promise, maybe a foolish dream. He’d always been sentimental that way. It was one of the many ways in which he was a terrible turian.

 A massive line snaked its way through the security checkpoint, uniformed asari with glowing omni-tools taking passenger information and conducting scans. It was crazy to him that all of this business was a result of what Shepard did out in batarian space. 

Things were just so damned crazy. 

“Ash’er.” 

Garrus turned to look at Thane, a questioning look in his eyes. “Guess this is the end of the line,” he said.

“I suppose it is,” Thane agreed.

More silence, more uncertainty. A million thoughts raced through Garrus’ head, but he couldn’t seem to find any words at all. Not a single damned one, except the ones that wouldn’t work. Stick around for a bit, maybe? Who knows when I’m getting out of here, I could use the company? See you around? 

…Would he, though? 

“Be well, my friend,” Thane said, speaking when Garrus couldn’t. “My ash’er. And may we meet again.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Garrus said, and he wondered exactly where that phrasing came from. He didn’t have Haven money, not after that tab last night. Didn’t have a whole lot of much right then. But he put on his best cocky expression, anyway, leaning with a hand on his hip, projecting as much of his signature swagger as he possibly could. “Take care of yourself, Thane. I’m holding you to that. It’d be awfully lonely in cover without you, and a lot less sexy.”

Thane smiled. “That would be unfortunate,” he said. 

Garrus watched in a bemused sense of detachment as Thane slipped silently into the small crowd at the gate, and he seemed to vanish into thin air like he always did when blending into any group of people. Gone in the blink of an eye, maddeningly so. Like a ghost, and his quiet presence, strength and tension and yearning, slipped through Garrus’ talons like grains of sand, almost as soon as he was able to grasp it. Far too soon. It seemed like there was never enough time for Garrus at all, never enough time to understand what he’d been reaching for without knowing, never enough time to cherish what he held until it slipped through his talons. Everything was quicksand in his hands.

And though Thane had only just gone, Garrus was already pretty damned lonely.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a reference to the Sisters of Mercy song of the same name.


End file.
